Rogue of the Rio Grande (1930)

Not without some appeal but largely a bit of a run-of-the-mill Western.

El Malo (José Bohr) robs the bank of a small town. However, El Malo is a Robin Hood figure who gives the stolen pesos to the poor of the town. El Malo manages to evade capture but falls for the charms of the cantina singer Carmita (Myrna Loy). El Malo then witnesses the robbery of a stagecoach by real outlaws using his name, their leader turns out to be the mayor (Gene Morgan) of the town...

This is a fairly standard and unsurprising Western though has some music thanks to Carmita (but not that good) and is played light, with bad guys stopped by sitting on cactuses rather than bullets. An early talkie with typical sound issues including awkward dialogue at times. It is probably most interesting for being early in the careers of both Bohr and Loy who went onto much bigger and better things either side of the Rio Grande.

Bullet to Beijing (1995)

It is the end of the Cold War, and Harry Palmer is out of a job!

Retired by MI5, Palmer (Michael Caine) is recruited by a Russian called Alexei (Michael Gambon) to stop the North Koreans getting ahold of a biological weapon that could kill millions. Palmer is helped by Nikolai (Jason Connery) in a rather confusing mix involving former operatives (from both sides) and the Russian mafia.

Much of the film takes place on a Russian train to Beijing, though Palmer and Nikolai end up marooned in Siberia and have to get back to their train by various forms of transport in some kind of bizarre Top Gear-like sequence. There are various double crosses made, the trip to Beijing seems rather pointless in the end as they head straight back to Moscow by plane. By now, though, Palmer knows there is more to this than a weapon, and Alexei can't be trusted...

It doesn't make a huge amount of sense (and can't really be compared to real Harry Palmer films based on actual Len Deighton books) but makes the most of post-Soviet Russia for all sorts of crumbling Soviet nonsense including rusty old Aeroflot airliners and a car chase with Ladas! All highly enjoyable if you like that sort of thing!

Rats: Night of Terror (1984)

One of a number of Italian Mad Max rip-offs, though this time the gang of raggedy marauders from the bad lands, in their beat up old vehicles, have to face... rats?

The group, led by Kurt (Ottaviano Dell'Acqua), arrive at a mysterious abandoned town that seems to be only inhabited by rats. They discover an underground science base with fresh food and flashy light bleepy tech. However, then the rats start to attack. In various gruesome ways too, the gang desperately battle for survival with their guns, tankettes and flamethrowers. Unfortunately as the gang seem to collectively have less brain cells than bullets the rats outwit them time and time again. Help is on the way, well they think anyway...

This really is a strange film, the gang really are inept. Characters like Deus (Tony Lombardo) and Duke (Henry Luciani) are pretty one dimensional and wouldn't last five minutes against the New Barbarians for example. Video (Gianni Franco) provides some moments of really strange humour. Violent, rather nasty and pretty weird.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

One of the best James Bond films, so wonderfully over the top.

An American space capsule is gobbled up by a mysterious other capsule and disappears, the Americans accuse the Soviets but British Intelligence think the other capsule landed near Japan. Bond (Sean Connery) is sent to work with the Japanese secret service led by Tiger (Tetsuro Tanba). Bond discovers a link to a chemical company and a ship which makes an unusual cargo stop at a volcanic island...

Along with local diver Kissy (Mie Hama) - whom James tries to seduce of course, having already managed with Japanese agent Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) - Bond discovers a secret base hidden in a volcano and a plot by Blofeld (Donald Pleasance) to start the Third World War... 

The film is completely ridiculous of course. but so much fun with incredible action scenes. Connery disguised as a Japanese fisherman is nonsense of course but so much else is in this film. Which makes it so superb.

Krasner, Norman: Beloved Husband of Irma (1974)

This is the first in the series about Norman (Douglas P McIntosh), one of life's born losers. Here he proves even going to the toilet is impossible for him without various disasters including getting his foot stuck down the toilet and accidentally groping the man in the next cubicle. All filmed in a found footage style grainy black and white. It is all rather cringey and weird. Perhaps the shame of flooding out the toilet meant that he had to go into hiding for 5 years until 1979's Welcome back Norman!

Lady of the Night (1925)

An enjoyable melodrama with a great performance by Norma Shearer.

Two baby girls are born very close together but also so far apart. One is Molly, the daughter of a man (Lew Harvey) sent to prison for a twenty stretch, and the other is Florence, the daughter of the judge (Fred Esmelton) who put him away! Eighteen years later the two young women (both played by Norma Shearer) have left their respective schools. Molly has become an escort, after a fight at a club she is rescued by an inventor called David (Malcolm McGregor) and falls in love, though David doesn't see it the same way...

With Molly's help, David decides to use his invention that can open any safes for good and not crime. Florence then meets David and starts dating him. However, she realises that Molly really loves him...

It is all wrapped neatly in a way the class conscious 1920s would accept of course. A sentimental film but very well done. The acting is natural and subtle and the story well told. Shearer does very well playing two roles, and two very different characters.

Die Monster Die! (1965)

An enjoyably creepy horror film.

Stephen (Nick Adams) arrives in a remote English village, asking for directions to the country house where his fiancé lives... but no one will tell him! He somehow finds his way there anyway and receives a cold welcome from his future father-in-law Witley (Boris Karloff) but Susan (Suzan Farmer) insists Stephen stays. The house is a really weird one, with ghastly howls and mysterious movements at night.

Finally, Stephen and Susan discover a greenhouse full of enormous plants and hideously deformed creatures. Stephen suspects radiation from a strange glowing green rock is causing the mutations...

The film is a grower, the horror and suspense starts off low-key and implied rather than shown. The film loses some of it's power when we do see what is behind the horrifying noises to be honest as they sometimes look a bit ridiculous. A decent horror film from the period though with a little room for improvement.

Final Justice (1984)

A ridiculous film but certainly fun.

Deputy Geronimo (Joe Don Baker) is a tough (though also rather large) Texan lawman. His friend is gunned down by Mafiosi Palermo (Venantino Venantini), but Geronimo arrests him. Palermo is to be extradited back to Italy, Geronimo is sent to accompany him. However, mysterious engine trouble means the plane lands in Malta instead. Palermo is soon rescued by his henchmen.

Geronimo seeks to recapture Palermo with the help of a young policewoman (Patrizia Pellagrino), much to the annoyance of the local police (Lino Grech), and the Mafia. Geronimo gets into many scrapes, and a number of gunfights. He also gets into a rather bizarre bar fight where he fights people with rather terrible props. It ends up in a dogged battle to the death with Palermo... eventually.

This isn't a good film by any measure though is bizarre and silly enough to be very watchable. Geronimo, with his stetson, cowhide jacket and great size stands out a mile in every Maltese scene. 

Topper Returns (1941)

Some rip roaring fun, in a house where things go bump in the night...

Cosmo Topper (Roland Young) ends up having to take two young ladies to their home after a car accident. At their home we discover that Ann (Carole Landis) has returned home after years in the Orient and bought her friend Gail (Joan Blondell). That night a mysterious masked figure kills Gail, though we discover that it was by accident and Ann was the real target...

Gail's ghost goes and summons Topper for help. He finds Ann's house full of mysterious characters such as Dr Jeris (George Zucco) who is looking after Ann's father (HB Warner). The house is also full of trap doors that lead to secret chambers and pits full of water, which Topper's unfortunate chauffeur (Eddie Rochester Anderson) discovers a number of time. Can Topper and Gail's ghost discover the truth before the hooded figure strikes again at Ann, or the police (Donald MacBride) interfere...

This really is a romp where the kitchen sink is thrown at the screen, every dark house cliche you could think of is deployed along with plenty of humour and nonsense. Is it a comedy, crime mystery, even a horror? All three to be honest, somehow it all holds together as a highly entertaining film. Topper's wife (Billie Burke) is hilarious in her role and there is a rather superb twist...

Carry on Up the Jungle (1970)

The Carry On team send up Tarzan films superbly.

Professor Tinkle (Frankie Howerd) is in Africa hunting for rare birds (no, the feathered kind!) He is being guided by big game hunter Boosey (Sid James) and accompanied by Lady Bagley (Joan Sims) who is still looking for her long lost son who disappeared in Africa many years ago. Her son is in fact now Ugh (Terry Scott) who has grown up in the jungle, swinging between the trees in vines like Tarzan. Unfortunately unlike Tarzan, Ugh has not learnt how to not crash in anything...

Tinkle's party faces wild animals, cannibal tribes and finally are captured by Amazons who require the men for mating. The King of the tribe, Tonka (Charles Hawtrey) turns out to be Lady Bagley's long lost, and presumed eaten, husband! Meanwhile, Ugh has fallen in love with Lady Bagley's maid June (Jacki Piper)...

It is all a hilarious and crude mess, with many wonderfully dreadful puns and sexual innuendo. Quite what the blacked up Bernard Bresslaw was saying to the "natives" is unknown, and they didn't have any idea either!

Diary of a Madman (1963)

A classic horror performance from Vincent Price.

After a funeral, a group of people assemble to hear the departed last wish, to have his diary read. It reveals a dark tale as Magistrate Cordier (Price) is possessed by a dark force called the Horla which led him to commit terrible crimes. A respectable man, Cordier is possessed after visiting a condemned prisoner. It begins a tragic chain of events as he falls in love with a model Odette (Nancy Kovack), though the fact she is already married to an artist (Chris Warfield) is a complication.

Possessed by the dark force, Cordier kills Odette with the husband ending up condemned for the crime. Cordier knows he must take desperate measures to stop the evil...

A very well constructed horror with a story that builds and builds. It has a number of creepy and supernatural scenes though it is the psychological aspects of the film that are to the fore and really elevate this into something special.

Scared to Death (1980)

Remarkably good sewer monster thrills.

Some kind of deranged super strong maniac is killing random women, not that unusual in LA of course but the police are baffled by this case... no wonder because the assailant isn't human! Ex-cop and now novelist Ted (John Stinson) is finally persuaded by his old buddy (David Moses) to help investigate the case. His girlfriend Jennifer (Diana Davidson) arranges to meet shy nerd girl Sherry (Toni Jannotta) who has vital information on the attacks but before she can meet her at a former research centre she ends up the latest victim (though survives).

Ted is told by Sherry that the attacks are being made by an artificial life form which lives on human spinal fluid. Ted and Sherry head into the sewers to find... and ultimately get chased by the creature...

Although the story is fairly generic (and an early Alien inspired film), this is an entertaining film that rises above the obvious cliches and makes the most of the low budget (the monster itself when we see it is pretty cool). 

The Stranger (1946)

A tight but maybe somewhat melodramatic thriller about the search for a Nazi war criminal hiding in plain sight.

A notorious but secretive Nazi is known to be hiding in the US, but the authorities are stumped because there are no photographs of him (even though he was apparently the mastermind behind the concentration camps). A plan is concocted to release one of his former henchmen Meinike (Konstantine Shayne) who then heads to the US to a small town. Following him is Agent Wilson (Edward G Robinson) but unfortunately he is in capacitated and thus does not know that Meinike has met local teacher Professor Rankin (Orson Welles). Cooly Rankin disposes of Meinike in the woods, and then goes ahead with his marriage to Judge Longstreet's (Philip Merivale) daughter Mary (Loretta Young). Rankin's plan is complete, now he can hide deep in the respected US establishment and await the Fourth Reich...

Or can he? Wilson quickly has his suspicions and begins to investigate Rankin who enters a game of wits with the agent. Mary is told of her husband's real identity but refuses to believe it. Can Rankin be stopped before he flees, and adds to his murder toll?

This is a superb film, which continually builds the tension. It also has great cinematography as you would expect from Welles. The ending on the clock tower is astonishing. Really the only criticism one can make about this film is that the story is a little far fetched.

The Man from Planet X (1951)

The setting and some ambiguity helps elevate this sci-fi invasion film above the pack slightly.

Reporter Lawrence (Robert Clarke) arrives in the remote Highlands of Scotland to visit a professor (Raymond Bond) who is observing a strange new planet that has appeared. The planet is getting closer and will be at it's closest over their remote Scottish village, Lawrence is interested though probably a bit more in the professor's daughter Enid (Margaret Field).

Enid observes a strange vessel nearby, upon investigation they encounter a strange man in a suit, a man from another world. He needs their help but the unscrupulous assistant of the professor, Dr Mears (William Schallert) beats the alien up to try and get his secrets so he can rule the world. This obviously annoys the alien who begins to enslave the villagers so he can facilitate an alien invasion...

So, the plot is fairly unoriginal (and there was no shortage of films like this in the 1950s!) The effects are rather cheap and laughable but the remote Scottish setting and the ambiguity of the alien intentions adds some interest to the film.

Gas! (1970)

A hippie satire, and thus of course makes little sense. Even if you are on acid.

The US has developed a chemical weapon that can kill everyone over the age of 25. Naturally this weapon escapes and does it's worse and most of the world population is wiped out. 

Coel (Bob Coroff) and Cilla (Elaine Giftos) escape Dallas, which is now run as a deranged dictatorship by a young ex-cop with a whip, and head across the US to seek a commune. They run across a series of strange obstacles including a cowboy who steals their car and a record shop guarded by a wannabe freedom fighter...

Don't worry about the story to be honest, enjoy the film for it's period music and styles. The soundtrack is great and the flower power girls looked amazing. Anti-establishment but not anti-groove.

The Raven (1963)

A comedic horror-magical romp that reeks of ham.

Sorcerer Dr Craven (Vincent Price) is disturbed by a talking raven! He discovers that the raven is a fellow wizard who has had a spell put on him, after much messing about a potion turns the raven back into Dr Bedlo (Peter Lorre). He tells him the evil Dr Scarabus (Boris Karloff) did it, Craven and Bedlo head off to Scarabus' castle along with Craven's daughter (Olive Sturgess) and Bedlo's son (Jack Nicholson).

Dr Scarabus is a most accommodating host though Craven is shocked to find his beloved wife Lenore (Hazel Court), thought lost, is there alive and well! Scarabus and Lenore have concocted an evil plan to lure Craven to the castle to steal his powers...

It is all very silly and rather campy. At times it can be unbearable but the great cast keeps the film going. The raven is very impressive, but they are very intelligent birds of course.

Prison Heat (1993)

Shamelessly exploitative, sometimes unintentionally hilarious but ultimately rather repetitive and boring drivel.

Four American girls on holiday decide to travel to Turkey. They don't get very far, at the border they are framed for drug running and end up in the brutal prison run by Saladin (Uri Gavriel). He sells women to evil Arabs and also helps himself to female flesh, poor Bonnie (Lori Jo Hendrix) especially endures the vile warden's lusts. Colleen (Rebecca Chambers) spends time in solitary and learns of the harsh reality of their time in prison. They have to escape...

The four girls all have surgically enhanced bodies which get displayed many times, there are numerous shower scenes, a lesbian rape scene (of course), stripping and humiliation. 

Despite all that it is remarkably unsexy and rather boring after awhile (unless you are a teenage boy perhaps). The final act with the escape livens the film up but repeated soapy breasts can't really make up for the ridiculous and exploitative storyline and vacant acting. It is frequently laughable though probably not by intention.

The Final Countdown (1980)

An interesting time travel film that asks the question, should you change history given the chance?

Lasky (Martin Sheen) arrives aboard the USS Nimitz aircraft carrier under the command of Yelland (Kirk Douglas) before it sets off on a voyage. Before very long the ship is caught up in a mysterious storm, afterwards all of the radio channels and data links are dead. However, this isn't due to the Soviets but because the Nimitz has travelled back in time to 1941.

In fact they have arrived back in time to just before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. Yelland knows his modern super carrier carries the firepower to defeat the Japanese fleet, but historian Commander Owens (James Farentino) warns against changing history. When the crew rescue a couple of 1941 Americans (Charles Durning and Katharine Ross) and a Japanese pilot (Soon-Tek Oh) things get more complicated...

Despite the set-up this isn't much of an action film (though when there is action it is well done) but poses some interesting ethical dilemmas and has lots and lots of cool US Navy footage.

The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake (1959)

A decent horror B-movie involving ancient Indian curses and shrunken heads!

Jonathan Drake (Eduard Franz) is an anthropologist investigating a South American Indian curse that has befallen his family. Male members of his family die aged 60 and their heads go missing, this happens to his own brother (Paul Cavanagh) and Jonathan is next! The missing head brings in Lieutenant Rowan (Grant Richards) of the police. He is sceptical that something supernatural is going on, but when he discovers the mysterious Dr Zurich (Henry Daniell) is apparently a man who died two hundred years ago, and has a secret basement lair including bubbling cauldrons and shrunken heads...

The story is low budget (which shows sometimes) but has an interesting premise and is a perfectly acceptable little film. Most of the action comes from Zurich's Indian assassin Zutai (Paul Wexler) though try not to laugh when his "deadly" blade is obviously rubber and wobbles about during the fight scenes!

Sisters of Death (1976)

Rather low-rent but intriguing revenge horror.

Years before a strange female secret society initiation involves a game of Russian roulette with fake bullets, only someone adds a real bullet to the mix... Now the members of the society receive mysterious letters inviting them to a reunion. The girls, including Claudia Jennings and Sherry Boucher, arrive at the rendezvous point where they are met by two sleazy guys (Paul Carr and Joe Tata) to take them out to a secluded ranch.

Alone at the ranch (though the two guys soon return hoping for nookie) the girls find a welcome laid out for them but no host. An electrified fence is activated stopping anyone from leading. The host reveals himself as the father (Arthur Franz) of the girl who died in the game of Russian roulette and now he wants to know which of the others switched the bullets. The deaths begin, in various gruesome ways including by garot and rattlesnake. The scene is set for a final showdown... and a number of interesting twists.

The film doesn't really make much sense and includes a number of obvious and well-worn horror tropes. The initial set-up is novel though but the characters are all rather interchangable. A flawed but perfectly enjoyable romp.

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

The iconic full length feature directorial debut of Quentin Tarantino, the first of many epics packed full of pop culture, and one of the best.

Joe (Lawrence Tierney) assembles a team who all have code names like Mr White (Harvey Keitel), Mr Orange (Tim Roth) and Mr Pink (Steve Buscemi) to hit a jewellery store. The raid goes horribly wrong though and Mr White takes the badly wounded Orange back to their hide out. There they think that someone has betrayed them, but who? Is it the psychotic Mr Blonde (Michael Madsen) who caused a bloodbath? In flashbacks we discover who the police's inside guy is...

The film was a pop culture phenomenon in the early 1990s, drawing in many references but also creating many of it's own including the black suits, and of course many quotes which entered the lexicon. It has held up very well and is a simply superb film worth the hype. A very violent and cruel film, plus with lots of bad language. Don't play a drinking game every time someone swears, you'll be dead of alcoholic poisoning before the opening credits start.