Carnival Magic (1983)

Time for our 900th review!

Life at a low-rent seedy carnival with all it's questionable glamour; all mediocre acts, threadbare costumes and bored exploited animals. Stoney (Mark Weston) is the carnival owner and things aren't going very well; sales are down, his two main acts are fighting and he refuses to accept his daughter Ellen (Jennifer Houlton) is really a girl and calls her Bud instead. Tiger tamer Kirk (Joe Cirillo) doesn't like the magician Markov (Don Stewart) hanging around his big cats. He demands Stoney fires Markov...

But Markov has a secret, he is sharing his caravan with a talking chimp called Alex (Trudi the chimp) - well when we say talking it is mostly grunting with bad dubbing. With Alex the chimp now revealed, Markov is forced to include him in his act and the carnival's sales suddenly rise. Kirk is no longer top of the bill and sells Alex to an evil vivisectionist Dr Poole (Charles Reynolds)...

The film doesn't explain how Alex can talk and how Markov can read minds for real. That is the least of the film's problems though, It really isn't very good, though the sheer nonsense can be entertaining. There is a degree of farce, such as Alex stealing a car, and some drama - some of it quite dark. One high point is the fact Don Stewart - who admittedly was pretty buff in this - in most scenes is wearing less clothes than his chimp.

The Skull Murder Mystery (1932)

A rather baffling murder mystery. A skull is found in an alleyway between two houses, a man thought to have been killed some time before. Inspector Carr (John Hamilton) and Doctor Crabtree (Donald Meek) first interrogate the eccentric inhabitants of the one house, the Beck family (Harry Mestayer, Paul Guilfoye and Joanna Roos) who seem to be performing various strange scientific experiments and acting very strangely. In the other house is Chinese merchant Wang Run (Lee Tong Foo) who conveniently was away when it is thought the murder took place, he also has a number of rather sharp Oriental weapons...

Crabtree comes up with an ingenious way to try and scare a confession out of either suspect (the fact it could have been someone else entirely is somewhat overlooked). However, things come to a head when the Beck family try and do a runner and a groaning man is found in their attic...

A short feature which proceeds at a breakneck pace, unfortunately a little too quickly as much remains unexplained, for example what exactly were the Becks up to?! A fairly interesting if not especially that good crime film.

The Time Travelers (1964)

This 1960s science fiction movie contains a lot of interesting ideas but it also has rather too much goofy humour. 

A group of scientists (which we know are serious scientists as they have white coats on) are trying to build a window into time. However, they discover their window is actually a portal into the future. Danny (Steve Franken) - who is in overalls and so not a scientist of course - steps into the portal. He is followed by Scientists Steve (Philip Carey) and Dr von Steiner (Preston Foster). Carol (Merry Anders) meanwhile is tasked to keep an eye on the portal, but as she is a 1960s ditzy female (despite being a scientist) she of course also steps through the portal and ends up marooned in a desolate future along with the rest of them.

On the run from a gang of mutants, the scientists and Danny are saved by the last survivors of human civilisation. Dr Varno (John Hoyt) explains that the Earth was turned into a wasteland by nuclear war, now final preparations are being made to launch a space ship to take them to Alpha Centauri...

Not the worst 1960s science fiction movie, the story has a little bit more sophistication than usual. The film lacks much in the way of action and can be a little dull at times. The goofy humour was probably included to counter that, though does not really work very well. The budget was low but they made the most of it.

Death Line (1972)

A superbly dark horror. An important civil servant (James Cossins) goes missing, he was last seen incapacitated at Russell Square tube station by students Alex (David Ladd) and Patricia (Sharon Gurney). Although Inspector Calhoun (Donald Pleasance) is fobbed off by MI5 (Christopher Lee) he still thinks there is a crime to investigate, especially when some workers are found killed at the same tube station. Forensics indicates there was another person present at the attack, one extremely ill.

There are legends, Calhoun learns, of trapped Victorian workers who formed a cannibalistic soceity underground. Of course this is nonsense, or is it? Alex and Patricia soon find out for themselves...

A terrifically cruel and strange film, much of which takes place in dark forgotten tunnels. The film has a strange mixture of flawed humanity (in the very realistic characters) and tragic inhumanity of the man (Hugh Armstrong). Indeed, the "beast" is in many ways a sad victim too, which adds so many layers to this film. Really quite brilliant.

Cry Wilderness (1987)

Young Paul (Eric Foster) has a secret, he has a friend in the forest... Bigfoot! Of course the adults, including his teacher, do not believe such nonsense. When Paul is visited by Bigfoot at his boarding school by Bigfoot and warned his father (Maurice Brandmaison) is in danger, Paul runs away and returns to the wilderness.

His father Will and his friend Jim (John Tallman) are hunting for a tiger which has escaped from a circus. Will is under pressure to catch the tiger before it kills someone, wannabe 80s action hero Morgan (Griffin Casey) is drafted in to pose in a tank top and wave guns around. This cardboard character also believes in Bigfoot... and  wants to kill it. Can Paul save his father, capture the tiger and save Bigfoot?

A terrible film in reality, which has rapid and random changes of terrain and weather. One scene its winter, then next summer. Still they had to pad the film out with stock footage. Those strange woods eh? The film is unintentionally hilarious with ridiculously one dimensional characters and inept execution.

Heroes for Sale (1933)

A powerful film though a bit melodramatic at times. We start in WW1 with Tom (Richard Barthelmess) and Roger (George Westcott) preparing to raid a German position. During the battle Roger loses his nerve and Tom is injured, apparently killed, after capturing a German officer. Roger ends up getting all the glory and a fast track to becoming a senior officer, even though he knows it is all a lie.

To Roger's shock after the end of the war he discovers that Tom survived and had been nursed back to rough health by the Germans. They both return home, Roger to glory and respect and Tom a drug habit. Tom's life begins to spiral downwards as the drug addiction takes away his job, his reputation and his respect. This isn't the end of Tom's topsy turvey adventure as he rises up to become a success in business but inadvertently causes a riot. Roger has his troubles too, in the end he gets caught for stealing. The two men end the film as they started, together with nothing, and in the rain.

The film has plenty of story, which is frequently laid on a bit thick. Barthelmess produces a superb portrayal of a man beaten down by the system and all life can throw at him but still come up for more. Loretta Young and Alice McMahon also take on very good roles.

The Girl and Her Trust (1912)

An interesting little short feature. Grace (Dorothy Bernard) is the telegraph operator at a railway station. When a bunch of tramps led by Alfred Paget try and rob $2000 being transferred by train, Grace saves the day by telegraphing on ahead to get help and also holding off the tramps in her office...

This is a great little film with a strong female character, obviously rather rare in cinema back then. Good early use of editing and camera angles help make this a cutting edge film for it's day and not just a camera being kept statically in front of a stage play. Well worth the watch.